The boop-bep-beep (that is my best written description, pls advise if there is a better one) in front of these used to terrify me when I was little. I've actually had nightmares about it that I can still remember many years later.

I tried to listen to one of the clips in that archive just now and it still kind of freaks me out.

Please tell me I am not alone!

Hey, maybe after you use radioactive condoms a few times, you effectively zap all the sperm and STDs, so you don't need to use them anymore.

The Big Y supermarket chain (Western MA) has: No Ifs Ands Or Butter! (No, there are no commas. Yes, there is an exclamation point.)

Even better, when I first tried to post this comment, I got the error message that "The text entered was wrong." I wholeheartedly agree.

Unicorn chaser, please? I can't express how grossed out I am by this.

New England has its own traditional canned nastiness, by the way. Brown bread in a can (with or without raisins):
http://www.amazon.com/B-Brown-Bread-Raisin-oz/dp/B0000TA3QW