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Happy Mutant Profile

Mitch

Teens desecrate grave to make pot pipe from skull

May 9, 2008 5:36pm

I was immediately reminded of the Two Headed
Boy of Bengal. His parents were offered lots
of money for his skull when he died but didn't
want to desecrate his body.

Some lovely fellow from the British
East India Company decided to rob his grave and
help himself to his skull anyway. It is now
displayed in a museum in England.

Seamless ice-spheres for superior whiskey-rocks

May 8, 2008 4:06am

Wow, people who drink it on the rocks are high
maintenance. All I need is a clean glass.

7-year-old boy removed from father and placed in state custody over mistaken order of hard lemondade

April 29, 2008 6:07pm

So if this cop had seen my parents buy me a
grasshopper drink when I was 8 I could have
gone to live with a nice foster family?

NYPD cop: videoing me breaking the law is a terrorist act

April 23, 2008 10:30am

The guy filming is really a dink.

I'd give him one warning to get away or prepare
to fight if he did that to me. I'd be badly tempted
to just pop him without a warning, but I believe in
giving people a chance.

HOWTO Make a steampunk mouse

April 18, 2008 5:06pm

Oh, man, this gives me ideas. You could make your
own ergonomic mouse out of wood.

UK man hassled by cop for not having a "camera license"

April 17, 2008 7:33pm

If his camera's memory card was formatted as
fat32 he most likely would have been able to
undelete the pictures the cop made him delete.

Video of "Japanese Only" signs in Japan

April 7, 2008 5:23pm

Just say: "I'd love to obey your sign, Mr.
Xenophobic businessman, but I can't understand
Engrish!"

Discovering the first Americans' bathroom

April 4, 2008 2:54am

Caves aren't known for being well-ventilated.

I wonder why they crapped inside.

Fuji makes you sign bizarre EULA to buy a camera

April 2, 2008 5:12pm

The $500 price of this camera would buy
me a lot of naked pictures of people who are
good at posing for naked pictures.

I'd still like an ir and uv sensitive camera
to photograph things like nocturnal wildlife
and flowers.

I don't mind this EULA so much if it's token
and not sincerely enforced.

Brilliant cycling awareness safety video

March 27, 2008 7:37pm

eiconoclast , if it were illegal for me to be on
the road how would I get to work? It's dangerous
to ride on sidewalks because people aren't looking
for fast moving wheeled vehicles there, and there
aren't bicycle paths all the way from my home
to my office.

I just wouldn't feel right about the pollution
I would make with a car when I am able-bodied
and capable of transporting myself under my
own power.

Forget about the bus. I'm not spending 1.5 hours
a day to go 6 miles, and I want to go wherever
I want on my own schedule.

Bathtub with built-in bookcase

March 27, 2008 7:10pm

Damp books would be a perfect habitat for silverfish
and other moisture and cellulose loving creatures.

I might like it for a place to put bathroom
knicknacks, like the jars of colored soap balls
you don't actually use.

Lamps made from sheep's stomachs: Ruminant Bloom

March 14, 2008 8:57pm

I think that's actually the reticulum, the part
of their digestive system that follows the rumen.

Uniformed volunteers patrol Tokyo streets to intimidate people hanging out

February 26, 2008 5:40pm

The cop-like guys are more annoying than
the people hanging out.

Smoking ban workaround in bars: Hold "theater nights"

February 25, 2008 5:38pm

So, the state of California has given bar workers
a smoke free work environment, and a few bar owners
have found a way to take that away from them?

Charity builds skate-parks in Uganda

February 20, 2008 5:30pm

Yeah, TECUMSEH, children in poor countries
should only have practical things like education
and health care. Something fun like a skate park
isn't appropriate for them.

Healthy 29 year old man dies after police tase him

January 17, 2008 10:26am

What, only one Taser killing defender
here?

Thanks for sharing, SLODO.

TSA's new forbidden item: >2 gm lithium batteries

December 28, 2007 10:11am

I'm just waiting for the rumor that hijackers are
planning on using their shoelaces to strangle
the flight crew of an airplane.

Sending email via typewriter, sort of

December 17, 2007 11:02am

So the guy wastes a sheet of paper for every email?
That's ridiculous.
He should try an IBM Model M keyboard.

Mall cops flag juicy cars for thieves

December 12, 2007 9:39am

It looks like the thing is stuck on the window
with adhesive residue. I'd be pretty mad about
having to clean that off my window.

I can make my own decisions about whether I'm
comfortable leaving visible packages in my car,
thanks.

Flickr photoset - St. Cloud Bakery signs

December 5, 2007 4:54pm

My guess the Carmel Roll is in honor of
Clint Eastwood.

Real poop behind 2G1C, US obscenity law, and 'net security.

December 2, 2007 10:22am

I really hope it's fake. Thinking it might be
fake won't make me able to watch it without
dry heaving, though.

It kind of reminded me of the show Fear Factor.
Cn y drnk th cckrch smth wtht
rtchng? Can you watch 2 girls 1 cup without
getting sick?

Vancouver 2010 Olympic mascots include a Sasquatch

November 30, 2007 4:54am

These mascots are great. It's hard to be
cute without being cloyingly cute.

It's hard to believe that some people
are complaining about them.

Federal court orders confiscated pot to be returned to owner

November 30, 2007 4:40am

I'm wondering how much it cost him to get back
his $50-$80 bag of stale marijuana.

It's a good precedent, though.

Driver tasered for refusing to sign traffic ticket

November 27, 2007 8:10pm

"once he started to walk away, tasering him was a final act of self-defense."

Uh, thanks, I needed a good laugh, Scoutmaster.

Amnesty's Unsubscribe Me video reenacts CIA stress-position torture

November 22, 2007 12:10pm

How can they criticize torture? Don't they
love America?

I'm with you, Kevitivity.

Winged bike clips

November 20, 2007 6:01pm

I think this would encourage stupid people in cars
to scream or throw things.

Video of man tasered to death

November 16, 2007 11:50am

Posting the video was good because it made it
possible to see several key points:

1. The man was directing his frustration toward
inanimate objects and not toward other people in
the area. He broke stuff but he didn't try to
hurt anybody.

2. He backed away as the officers approached
him.

3. The police used the Taser as a first, and
not last, resort.

Unfortunately, they are probably going to
get away with killing that man.

Terror police in UK taser man in coma

November 15, 2007 4:10pm

When Tasers were first developed they were
promoted as an alternative to deadly force
when used against combative suspects, but
they're increasingly used as a 'compliance
tool' to punish people for not obeying the
police. So how could a reasonable person not
take a "cynical side against the police" for
using a taser on someone who isn't actively
violent?

I hope the victim in this case sues and wins.

Library's clever answer to network filtering

November 1, 2007 4:13pm

Now what would be fun would be to swap the cables
to connect a keyboard and monitor on the filtered
side to a computer on the unfiltered side.

Donovan to open meditation-based college

October 30, 2007 4:42pm

Who let the trolls out?

I'm not really interested in the university
they are founding, nor am I interested in
slamming any kind of religion or meditation.

Break time over. Back to work.

Driver threatens slow police officer

October 29, 2007 10:20am

If I recall correctly, some of the off-duty
cops on copswritingcops.com were annoyed that the cops who were ticketing them took a long time to write the ticket.

Now that would be a story- Off-duty cop shoots/tasers fellow officer for being too
slow writing the ticket.

It really is annoying that they take a long time
to write a ticket, but I don't mind. People who
manage their time poorly have no right to endanger
others by driving to fast.

Ice cream ramen

October 24, 2007 10:27am

The ice cream with ramen does look gross, because
of the hard boiled eggs and meaty looking broth.

I'd eat it on a dare, for at least $10.

Musicman, are you paying rent? If so, then
you have a right to eat what you want. Kimchi
is just vegetables. Your flatmates are being
unreasonable. Tell them they will just have
to learn to deal with it.

Japanese women could be "safer" at night by wearing vending-machine disguises

October 21, 2007 6:54am

This has to be social commentary. Surely no one
would be expected to actually use such a disguise.

Death Cab for Cutie guitarist's album disappears down the DHS memory-hole

October 20, 2007 3:28pm

Would the album have fit on an iPod, on a hard
drive installed in a laptop, or even on a
usb stick?

That might be a less problematic way of
carrying it across the border.

Thinking about it further, why does a
physical drive need to be moved at all?

Couldn't the files containing the album
have just been "transported" by ftp?

Man appeals conviction for standing in Times Square

October 19, 2007 10:15am

Was the guy who was arrested for standing
around black?

Funny news photo from 2004

October 18, 2007 10:09am

Cigarette smoking is an addiction.
The majority of smokers are people who want
to quit but can't.

I don't know anyone addicted to the sound
of jackhammers.

Solar powered immigrant shelter provides Internet access

October 18, 2007 5:39am

How did I know that this post would bring out
the trolls?

I like the idea of providing water for people
crossing the desert, but the first thought
that crosses my mind is that a permanent
structure like this would be too easy for
the Minutemen or some other xenophobic
yahoos to ambush.

All the Mexican people I've worked with are
really hard and diligent workers. I don't
care how they got here. Their employers are
better off for having them. They help American
businesses to do better and they contribute
to our economy. And a lot of Mexican people
are employers!

HOWTO wash your hands and beat the flu

October 16, 2007 7:13pm

In a bar I figure it's more unsanitary to touch
the bathroom faucet handles than to not wash
after I go to the bathroom. I never wash my
hands in a bar.

What about the lever you have to pull to
get the paper towels in some bathrooms?
Am I the only one who wonders whether the
person who touched the thing before me
might have had the toilet paper tear
and got some crap on his fingers?
I hate those things. Tri-fold towels are
better. You only have to touch the paper
towel that you use.

Netherlands bans magic mushrooms

October 12, 2007 6:16pm

When I volunteered at a food coop people who
obviously didn't cook would come in and buy
certain kinds of dried mushrooms to resell
as fake psychedelic mushrooms. I always
liked to ask those guys how they planned
on cooking them.

I had one disappointing and one great
experience with them, but I'm hesitant
to buy them again because I'd have no
guarantee that they are authentic.

It would be better to buy them from a
legal, above ground business.

I'm sure the new legislation will stop people
from doing stupid things under the influence
of mood altering substances.

New Yorker on ultra-expensive wine counterfeits

October 10, 2007 11:32am

This is why I stick with under $10 table
wines.

Tonka-esque truck-cutlery

October 9, 2007 5:59am

I like the bulldozer. There should be an adult
version for holding a pile of peas still to
help get them onto a spoon or fork.

Make a crank ghost in Los Angeles

October 5, 2007 5:58am

They probably got the idea from the Scooby Doo
show.

Navy covering up swastika barracks

September 27, 2007 5:11pm

What a waste of money. It's just a building with 8
sections, arranged to form 4 courtyards open at one
end. If people think it looks like a swastika from
the air, people shouldn't look at aerial photos of
it.

Besides, the swastika has existed in many cultures
centuries before the Nazi party adopted it. If it
were a heavy black swastika inside a white circle
inside a red rectangle, then I'd be concerned.

It's really annoying when people construe things
like this as anti-Semitic when that is obviously
not the intention. I can think of a lot better
uses for $600,000.

Saudi religious police attacked by girls

September 25, 2007 6:49pm

I don't think I'll ever read about someone in
America apologizing and being released after pepper
spraying a cop.

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