This isn't fake. These are a dime a dozen. I think its the first thing students attempt to do when they train on the FIB and find out that you can mill stream files.

Why on earth did they sprinkle that corn dog with bird seed?

And what is up with the canned shish-kabobs. Once you decide to can something, I call you have to remove superfluous sticks.

Currywurst? BARF!

I'll take a strawberry Yogurette bar though. That looks tasty, like a Charleston Chew for the Utne Reader-set.

I would make the worst captive terrorist ever. If they even so much as looked at me cross-eyed I would spill my guts like Chunk on Goonies.

"...But the worst thing I ever done, I mixed up fake puke at home..."

The quicker I tell them everything the quicker I can go back to my cell and enjoy my venti dark roasts.

In Russia, roaches are cosmonauts and humans scurry when you turn lights on!

It begins...

"...'mice' that were larger than bulls lived with terror birds, sabre-toothed cats, ground sloths, and giant armoured mammals,"

Those were the good old days.

terror birds...that has to be the coolest name ever.
I can just imagine Lothar of the Hill People defending his fresh ground-sloth kill from a murder of terror-birds.

Man, that thing looks super-delicious and you all know you would scarf it down toot-sweet.

Look how many dipping sauces it comes with! LOOK!

That being said I do think it needs some nacho cheese sauce on top.

I'd rather have California pizza than NY pizza. (I am in the midwest and thus qualified to judge all things coastal.)

Is that guacamolito sauce I see?

It looks like you could also use the device to disguise yourself as an old timey water heater.

I think those low windows by the couch that are reachable from the outside would actually be a liability during a zombie attack.

Re: cover

I think the devil on his shoulder is telling him that if he added more fiber to his diet he'd be able to finish the task at hand in a more timely, less infuriating manner.

The horn looks like its made from dried bird plop.

Apparently mothballs and old-people-smell make me buy clothes 'cuz that's what Savers and Goodwill smell like.

Scissors look unusable for lefties.

I think Randi just wants all the mutants to show up for the prize money so he can register them a la X-men.

Plus I think he has a huge mancrush on Sylvia Browne.

My cleric needs a +1 FuBar of Smiting.

The 'can' part of the watering can look like 20 oz soda bottle caps. So I take it these hang upside down and the crickets come up to the nozzle and get sips of water hamster-style in between rounds at the Terror-Drome?

No big deal. Its just a slight modification on the origami crane.

That would be a strangely undepressing place to be (not)buried.

People would come and visit you and see how you are doing for quite some time and you would have lots of smell company. Way better than being stuffed in a lonely box.

I wish adaptations of Dick novels/stories were illegal. Maybe this one won't suck.

Total Recall...fun movie but not PK Dick

Minority Report? BLECH

A Scanner Darkly...well, that one was pretty good.

I think they are all better left as books then as hack job movies though.

Before anyone else can adapt a PK Dick novel I think they should have to submit a 5 minute short of the film and all PK Dick fans can vote on it.