People bring guns to airports all the time. They're usually sent home by the cops or arrested if it's their lucky day. Plus, this guy's a government employee. You can't get fired from the government (unless you're a district attorney).

That's not a very cogent argument on your part. Care to expand?

Santa's Knee meant that we bought their motorcycle, the Indian. We watch their baseball team, the Cleveland Indians. And we chew Redskin Tobacco (tm).

Old Soul coffee in Sacramento used to use only the honor system. Just a jar of money on the counter and you made your own change. Last time I was there they had a cash register. I guess it was too hard to figure out tips.

So anyway, I say, "Hey waitress, this coffee tastes like mud". She says, "It ought to, it was ground just this morning."

Ouch. That hurt to write.

For years I would swipe cassettes out of answering machines at thrift stores and garage sales to listen to the messages. There's tons of neat, funny, depressing, illegal, and sexy messages out there for the taking.

My friends Joel* and Hillary have a great one with helicopters and Kashnikovs on it too. I'm hoping to find some if I make it to Afghanistan this year. Maybe I can pay some of my trip costs by putting them on eBay.

I had some copies of the "Osama vs USA" game on eBay but they started canceling them. I wonder if they'd do the same to these rugs.

* Joel is in Sacramento's nerdiest band The 4-Eyes. thefoureyes.com

I've seen Super Dave Osborne (Bob Einstein) on Curb Your Enthusiasm and Arrested Development. His brother is Albert Brooks.

Does anyone have a link to the Rolling Stone story written by the shit?