I wrote a parody of this absurd argument in 2006, which I guess was too deadpan for our readers: http://wweek.com/editorial/3233/7681/

I have giant monster fingers. They require enormous buttons, which now can only be found of the RAZR and similar flip phones. Also, I like that, as previous commenters have described, they open to be as big as a, y'know, real phone.

But as soon as I get around to making a Ma-Bell handset, I'll use whatever phone they give me.