The shopkeeper looked at his screen and gave Tommy a very funny look, but he did let Tommy buy the pack. Outside, as Tommy shook a cheap, dirty-tasting fag out of the box, he looked over his shoulder. The merchant was making a phone call. Tommy lit the cigarette and headed out to enjoy the day.

Later, he went to buy a pint. The bartender shook as she handed over the sloshing glass. Her eyes darted back and forth. Then she went to clean glasses at the far end of the bar, keeping an obvious eye turned on Tommy. Tommy tried to enjoy his beer.

A hand rested on his shoulder. “You should come with us,” said a friendly voice. It was a police officer. “You’re wanted for armed robbery.”

At the station, Tommy tried to explain himself. He was sixteen and still went to school. He was not a violent criminal.

“If you’re underage,” the sloppy officer said, sloshing milky tea into his saucer, “What are you doing out of school, smoking?”

He had him there.

The officer snapped his fingers. “I get it. It’s the face software. You just look like this robber, that’s all. Don’t go smoking and drinking, though. And stay in school, now.” The officer seemed slightly flustered as he shooed the boy out.

Then Tommy stood blinking int he sunlight, wondering what this resemblance would mean for the rest of his life, and whether the two of them would keep looking the same as they aged. What if the other man committed murder? What if Tommy didn’t have an alibi?

He also wondered if this other man would be able to buy a beer, the next time he tried.

I just had a horrible dream that raspberry ants were in my sister's brain.

That cautionary aside about capsaicin reminds me of a short story I wrote. (Assorted caveats: it's not great literature, it's gross-out comedy; innocent characters in my story get hot pepper in horrible places; I'm a long-time reader, n00b commenter; I hope linking is not uncouth.)

Link does not work

I clicked on this link and proceeded to read the first eight stories. I got nothing done at my job today. But it was worth it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!