I worked there when I was a kid - before all the McFood was stored in steam cabinets. I don't know how it works now, but when I worked there almost every AM shift some smartass would cruise in 10 min past the breakfast changeover and demand an egg mc muffin. If we didnt have any old breakfast lying around (supposed to be tossed in the bin) and it escalated into an "I wanna see your manager" issue. One manager we had would just cook the irate asshat an egg mc muffin on the(now hamburger searing temperature)grill.

You only can get half of the egg off the grill which is that hot. This is actually good because the part that sticks to the overheated grill is converted to brown rubberized protein - no longer really chewable.

We'd do the muffin part in the hamburger bun toaster. Which was more like a giant hair straightener, rather than a "toaster" per se.

Mercifully, we often kept an old Egg McMuffin or two around after changeover for just this type of visitor.

Dont forget, the customer is always right.

I'm thinking you need to reinvent cryptozoology as a religion - turn your living room ...errr... your museum into a church, ordain yourself as a "bigfoot" and stop paying taxes altogether.

Aha! a checklist to bring to the next "Communications Committee" meeting.

I doubt we even get throught the minutes from last meeting before everything is checked off.

Come for attendance, but stay for the donuts!