What a lovely, high-tech coffin you have! Does that come in Pulverized by a Tornado red, or Drowned in Your Own Septic Tank green?

Folks, there is NO PRINCIPLED MORAL DISTINCTION that can be made between kidnapping for adoption or selling a child for adoption. It is human trafficking, and it is wrong.

Perhaps, it is only that I don't care to have my moral subjectivism dictated to that makes me want to throw a wrench in some of this. Of course, human trafficking is indefensible, but adoption is a second-level concern that often includes desperate couples and practices that aren't well attended by the State, like the foster system in most US localities. I'm wary of easy condemnation. Ignorance may not provide exemption, but there ARE people out there who adopt from places like China, who would be profiting on a cultural predisposition, who do not fit neatly into this description.

Potential parents taking their kids from "disputed areas," however, has always struck me as odd and selfish (I might even throw Madonna and Malawi under this bus). I guess I'm just free-associating a bit. Kidnapping = wrong; slavery = wrong; human trafficking = wrong, but without saying anything is right, how are certain adoptees to know their own origins, or parents to inquire, even if they're being responsible? We intentionally obfuscate records in this country, so how is the individual citizen to know or understand how other countries might do the same? In short, what system is proposed to prevent these egregious errors?

Whoever said 'moral panic' and dissed the Telegraph was spot on, to me. I would worry less about USA Today publishing one of those "Deadly Daycare" or "Dirty Dining" blurblets we have to endure on the local news channels. Teens acting like, well, teens. Wotta soo-prize.

I CAN HAZ INFOGRAPHIC?

Can we get the Flat-Earthers and the Creationists to a fabulous celebration in an Adam & Eve Museum somewhere soon? Would it be too cruel and hypocritical to drop fifty tons of thermite on the place from a low earth orbit? Might the popular media be able to just ignore them, as we do ranting people on streetcorners?

Can I stop being Socratic? Do they know who Socrates was? (AAAARGH)

Do you think Montel specifically waited to announce his retirement once he was told this was coming on the market in a matter of months?

"Me and all my friends in wireframe, hoggin' the HOV lane..."

It's a countrypunk tune, fo sho.

Does Obama get Tay Zonday next? More amusingly, does Clinton get Sheena Easton doing 'Sugar Walls?'

I think McCain leaks enough. Not even Lieberman can plug him up.