So then the obvious question is: can anybody recommend a lock that isn't so lame?

Switching was hell for about 2 weeks but then I quickly exceeded my qwerty speed by a lot. It was also a chance to learn to type without looking.

I did it mainly because of RSI, which it helped a LOT. The extra speed was icing on the cake.

If you learn how to switch the layout on Mac & Windows, you can use it in most places you go (big surprise: on Windows it sometimes requires installing a driver, which maybe you could carry with you on a thumb drive or CD?). Of course I live a charmed life where I rarely use anything but Macs, and sometimes Linux, so this is rarely an issue.