I acutally used to lifeguard at Kirk Beach, about 800 meters from where that thing was found (no joke).
It's frankly not inconsistent with the morphology of the "homo guido" beach-goer that would frequent that stretch of beach during this time of year.

The Pegasus and the Dolphin ones were fantastic.
That being said, the next time I'm in the West Village after crushing multiple grande bottles of sake, I could seriously see myself getting the Izod one.

Don't tell me that I'm the only one to remember these...

http://www.theforceintheflesh.com/topten/

#3 and #2 are the greatest, in that they make no sense whatsoever

All,
Aileinduinn is completely correct.
The idea that integrated government DBs could track the movement of 8 mil different people in realtime is giving Big Brother WWWAAAYYY too much credit.
To the contrary, I think if most people on this site actually saw the state of the USG's capabilities in this field, they would be appalled; not by its invasiveness, but by its inepitiude.