Well, I don't think the locals would be unable to understand a single word I said. They'd understand the occasional one - I'm in England, and English is evolved from Anglo Saxon. Not that I'd be able to understand much in the way of Mercian grammar, but the occasional word is pronounced much the same - cold, halt - or similarly enough to Germanic languages that you'd be able to understand - church/kirk/kirken, ship/scip, Hwæt/what freundlich/friendly that sort of thing.

Remember to drink alcohol, not water, and boil the veg (I know what they're using to fertilise the fields...) Next problem - oh dear, the Danes are coming back next year. And there's a famine in about five years time. Time to see if I can start making crossbows, perhaps...

Not fake, but very easy to do - the system I use you can just take a RGB bitmap, load it in as a pattern file, and run it. As Iguanoid says, there is barely a lab where these instruments haven't been used to put down the company or university logo.

This image looks flat and uncontoured as it is being imaged by the ion beam that was used to write it - if they'd tilted the sample slightly after writing and before imaging (or used an electron beam to image in a dual beam system), then you'd have seen the distortion of the pattern due to the surface morphology of the hair it was written on.