"I am grateful for at least the past year to have been the highest-paid director of a museum in the Smithsonian. Even at that status I have yet to earn even two-thirds of what I earned as a private attorney in my last year in private practice."

Worst. Human. Ever.

Well, not exactly, but you see what I'm shooting for there.

"(I was a lot less impressive with my AK-47 -- I explained that I was Canadian and the jarhead nodded knowingly)"

I laughed.

Father Brown:
Americans are violent by nature. You go ahead and get rid of all those guns buddy and enjoy your stabbing/fatal beating/etc.

"Show us these temples or we will dynamite the entire hillside."

Sorry, but THAT is hilarious.