If only there were some substance you could write on with a safe, natural tool that had a good, rustic looks such as might suite a cheese platter...

http://www.vivaterra.com/pls/enetrixp/!stmenu_template.main?complex_id_in=482007.488301.907946.899623.page

Check out the pics, history, and references offered at the Good Vibrations Antique Vibrator Museum: http://www.goodvibes.com/Content--Antique-Vibrator-Museum--id-367