IronyElemental

Recent Actions

• Commented on 20-year old Iraqi woman dies; father ran her over for being too Westernized
  Something makes me think this wouldn't have made it out of the local news if they weren't Muslim....
• Commented on Epic Christian painting of historical figures and "lefty" archetypes
  I love how every square inch of that painting is a cliche....
• Commented on Bulletproof glass demonstration
  And this is why, to this day, American soldiers wear suits of plate glass armor into battle....
• Commented on The pleasure of reading stories that don't bore
  "Cultured" entertainment cannot be enjoyed without discomfort. If it pleases you, it is base. So said my headmaster, Mr. Whippings....
• Commented on Wacky gilded pyramid house in Illinois
  I grew up right near the Onan pyramid house. Locals have a discernable "WTF?!" attitude towards it....
• Commented on Media Matters: O'Reilly falsely claimed he only "reported what groups" were calling Tiller
  Sometimes, when pondering Bill O'Reilly's impressive feats of cognitive dissonance, I picture a tensor sculpture with all those brittle tubes and strained, thrumming wires, just waiting to pop....
• Commented on Zombie haiku contest -- best entry wins the game of Plants vs. Zombies
  Hi, Honey. Lost my key. Leave yours under the mat? Signed, Not The Zombies...
• Commented on Jesse Ventura on The View
  I am surprised Jesse Ventura's balls fit beneath that table....
• Commented on Swine Flu Q & A
  "Scanning 'Swine Flu Hemagglutinin.mp3' for viruses...none found." It's resistant to virus checkers, too, apparently....
• Commented on Fake People Tell Fake Stories About The Threat Of Gay Marriage
  "The National Organization for Marriage?" NOM? I thought that was an organization dedicated to fighting cookie addiction....
• Commented on Obama tells country "Serve Satan" (or not?)
  Obama isn't a stealth Muslim. He isn't a stealth Anything with those ears sticking out like that....
• Commented on Trouble Coffee: cold press coffee, hobo-inspired art, coconuts
  Having too many bemasked patrons is a pretty awesome problem to have....
• Commented on US Airways bumps Flight 1549 survivors up to super-elite status for a year
  Oceanic 6, meet the US Airways 150....
• Commented on SNL: Laser Cats #4 with Steve Martin (KING LEAR)
  Cyberface is probably the best name ever....
• Commented on Helicopters for everyone!
  If I were in a band, "Helicopters for Everbody" would totally be the title of our next album....
• Commented on New York slum children will escape zip gangs with rooftop baseball diamonds
  I am reminded of David Wingrove's "Chung Kuo" books. Just keep stacking buildings, and let the lower levels rot....
• Commented on The Periodic Table of Awesoments
  Addendum: What's a Jet Figther?...
• Commented on The Periodic Table of Awesoments
  Pick 2 or 3 of those, splice them together, and you have the perfect algorithm for generating awesome 1) band names 2) screen names 3) video games 4) anime titles "I love to rock out to The Batman Bacon Explosion...
• Commented on Arab shoe-tossing isn't a gesture of friendly affection
  "Not like here in the west, where it's a gesture of affection. " I always like airports at Christmas time, when families reunite, and the air is thick with shoes....
• Commented on Torture in video-games -- a moral dilemma
  I'm reminded of something one of my professors told me once. In short, academics often mistake personal taboos for systematic failures. I know people who don't play WoW because of all the killing. I know people who won't let their...
• Commented on Before/after tattooed face
  "Definitely won't be going into the Customer Service industry after prison." "Good morning, and welcome to Build-A-Bear!"...
• Commented on The Sarah Palin Turkey Video
  Is there a more appropriate metaphor for Sarah Palin's reluctance to leave the spotlight after her campaign defeat than a beheaded turkey, squirming as though it still has a chance?...
• Commented on A "magic" way to make money on the Internet!
  I expected them to start talking about muggles and quidditch....
• Commented on Merrill Lynch Needs a Dressing Down
  Halliburton has it all wrong...you don't need to risk your life in Iraq to bilk America of billions of dollars...do it from the comfort of your own penthouse!...
• Commented on Your Virtual Girlfriend
  Regarding a Cheney version of this toy....if this depicted Gitmo prisoners, Dick would be all over it....
• Commented on Your Virtual Girlfriend
  "But how is it any different than the interactions with sex workers in the GTA series." Not that I approve of GTA, but it does have a layer of abstraction that this girlfriend thing does not (i.e. it's Niko Bellic...
• Commented on A photograph of America's new president.
  "Fist Pounds" -- a unit of measure for how much it hurts when you get punched....
• Commented on The government subsidies behind Cindy McCain's family fortune
  Sarah "Joe Six-pack" Palin accepts offer to run for VP with John "Married a Beer Heiress" McCain. Coincidence? I think not, sir. Good day....
• Commented on Twelve Hours Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old: the best parenting book I've read
  You know, it's funny. Every time I hear someone say they're having difficulties getting their child to sleep through the night, I ask one question: "Does he/she sleep with you?" The answer is always "Yes, why?" For the first 3...
• Commented on Another creepy android from Japan
  "It has 50 sensors and a series of motors to help it move and has been built to help pensioners and disabled people move better." I can only assume old people and people with disabilities will be fleeing in terror...