Chuck

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• Commented on Concordia University has a spy-squad that snooped on novelist for "bilingual interests"
  Wait -- you need to spy on people in order to learn a second language? Maybe the "forbidden knowledge" BS I encountered in IT has infiltrated every arena of education and learning. (Maybe I shouldn't have left those O'Reilly Media...
• Commented on Abstinence-only rappers sing about the "Christian Side Hug"
  I've known plenty of Christian women who are excellent front-huggers. I probably shouldn't mention their names, though. Otherwise they could be subjected to a drive-by honor killing. (With that song blaring on the car's sound system, no doubt.)...
• Commented on Heroes and sociopaths: behavioral twins?
  This is extremely valuable information. I've sent the link for this article to everyone I know, making sure to mention your name, Xeni -- you're a wonderful, helpful person, and the world is a better place with you in it....
• Commented on Evolution Among the Cannibals
  Oh... So cannibalism is OK now?:-P Kidding! I'm sure it only means that the people with that mutation will try to hunt the rest of us to extinction. Nothing to worry about....
• Commented on How-to make yourself look like Sailor Moon
  Was I laughing at her, or laughing with her? I can't tell! It was the kind of laughter that brought tears, so I'm leaning towards "with." She may very well be a genius....
• Commented on $50k novel advance == "almost qualify for foodstamps"
  Wait -- you mean professional writers aren't compensated with an HP home server for every 100 words they write? What the hell??????...
• Commented on 100-word fiction competition — win an HP MediaSmart EX495
  uranus craigslist > community > lost & found One cat Mostly black. White belly and feet. Little mustache below nose Found drifting between orbits of Uranus and Neptune Doesn't seem to be answering to anything...
• Commented on Secret Diary of a Specialist in Developmental Neurotoxicology and Cancer Epidemiology
  >If the movies have taught me anything, female scientists are either bombshells or troglodytes. Sometimes the latter becomes the former with the removal of glasses. I actually possess the strange ability to figure out whether or not woman are attractive,...
• Commented on Best exercise for healthy bones
  >The best form of exercise for maintaining healthy bones is apparently jumping up and down as many times as you can without inspiring your downstairs neighbor to come upstairs and break your bones By any chance is there a study...
• Commented on Holy water dispensers to combat swine flu
  This is but the first step. It's only a matter of time before the clergy are completely replaced by robots. ("But how do you know it hasn't happened already?")...
• Commented on Thinking off
  Now can these women cause other people to achieve orgasm through mental activity? If so, PLEASE tell them to stop doing that when I'm in a public place. (Alternatively, they could drop by and introduce themselves.)...
• Commented on The men who stare at Goatse
  "If I stare at it long enough ... and with sheer force of will ... I can influence the fingers to exit the orifice, make the hands let go ... I can make that rectum close up."...
• Commented on Archaeologists May Have Found Remains of Lost Persian Army
  I had to start reading all over again after I misread the headline as "Lost Penguin Army."...
• Commented on Robot olympics coming to China
  >Great, now you've got me trying to think of a way to make a "Special Olympics" analogy... I'll admit that considered doing the same, but used restraint.:-)...
• Commented on Duke University official concerned that sex toy study will make students want to "just sit around and masturbate"
  "But won't your use of ... uh ... these 'personal pleasure devices' just result in you sitting at home and cutting yourself off from the rest of humanity?" "Oh, certainly not. I'm perfectly capable of carrying on a conversation with...
• Commented on Duke University official concerned that sex toy study will make students want to "just sit around and masturbate"
  >Would he have them be amublatory masturbators? That would be quite a college sport! I'm imagining track and field relay events with vibrators replacing the baton. (Maybe the point would be to keep running, and resist the temptation to stop...
• Commented on Robot olympics coming to China
  I suspect the wheeled robots and their supporters will protest outside the venues for the competitions....
• Commented on Vampire/otherkin/energy worker Meetup in San Francisco
  >Otherkin: Elves trapped in men's bodies - Boing Boing The first time I read that, I thought it said "Elvis trapped in men's bodies." ... So does this mean I can't come to the meeting?...
• Commented on The OpenOffice Mouse
  >how about just sticking an optical sensor under your keyboard and just move that around? Is it too soon to put one on the underside of laptops?...
• Commented on Large Hadron Collider: Now This Is Just Getting Ridiculous
  You might want to inform CERN that my frisbee was just taken away by a freak gust of wind....
• Commented on Shoes made out of bread
  I can imagine someone waking up one bright sunny morning and sticking their feet into their comfy bread slippers, only to discover... THE ANTS HAVE FOUND THEM!...
• Commented on Portraits of child beauty pageant participants
  Is anyone else experiencing an "uncanny valley" thing here?...
• Commented on After the Game: What Happens to the Losing Team's Swag?
  I thought those shirts were transported to an alternate reality where the other team did win the championship....
• Commented on Robbers wearing markered disguises
  When interview separately afterward, both men were quoted as saying... "But I TOLD him it was a bad idea!"...
• Commented on Alligators Sing! (But Not to Attract Mates)
  I hate it when I can't get my chainsaw started. (Or was that my motorcycle?)...
• Commented on Essential plot twists for writers
  I think I'm currently using at least three, and arguably four of those. Except I make it clear that Satan is definitely NOT autistic....
• Commented on Boy missing after experimental balloon crash lands
  Apparently the kid has been found alive at home....
• Commented on Woman gives birth in pool with dolphin, internet gives birth to meme.
  I'm pretty sure this is how the aquatic ape wound up being hunted to extinction....
• Commented on Conservapedia proposes de-liberalized Bible
  I'm just waiting for certain sects of Christians to start denouncing Jesus as a homosexual again. (Or was that just a quirk of my hometown?)...
• Commented on OUTRAGE: documentary outs anti-gay politicians who are secretly gay
  These guys also try to define and control what heterosexuality is, and they really don't like purely heterosexual men either (I had to grow up in a conservative community with a few of these perverts running around), so I'm not...